Friday, August 23, 2013

Twelve Reasons to Vote Democrat

1. Vote Democrat because you love the fact that now you can marry whoever you want. You may now marry your Labrador

2. You should vote Democrat because you believe that oils companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas is obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

3. You should vote Democrat because you think the government will do a better job at spending your money than you would.

4. You should vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine and dandy as long as you agree with what is said... and nobody else is offended by it.

5. You should vote Democrat because you're way too irresponsible to own a gun, and you know that your local police is all all you need to protect you from murderers and thieves.

6. You should vote Democrat because you believe that people that can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if you don't start driving a Prius.

7. You should vote Democrat because you're not concerned about millions of unborn being aborted so long as those on death row are kept alive.

8. You should vote Democrat because you think that illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take them away from those that paid into them.

9. You should vote Democrat because you believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest to the government for redistribution as the Democratic Party sees fit.

10. You should vote Democrat because you believe that Liberal judges need to re-write the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their crazy agendas past the voters.

11. You should vote Democrat because you think that it's better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, spotted owl, or fish.

12. You should vote Democrat because your head is so firmly misplaced toward the south end of your body; it's unlikely you'll ever have another point of view.

No trees, Spotted Owls, or Red Cock-headed Woodpeckers were harmed in the sending of this message.
 

Coming Soon: an obituary for modern Conservatism...

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